A few years ago, I was working with a leadership team that had recently defined their core values. They had put a lot of thought into the process. They brought in a consultant, aligned on four values that reflected the kind of culture they wanted to create, and took the right steps to communicate them. The values were displayed on the walls, included in their handbook, and shared across the organization.
On the surface, everything looked right. But as we started to have deeper conversations, a different picture began to emerge. One of their stated values was collaboration. It was something they said was critical to their success as an organization. But in practice, there were clear gaps.
There was a long-tenured employee—someone who had been with the organization for over 20 years—who consistently created friction between departments. Instead of collaborating, he operated in silos, pushed back on others, and made cross-functional work more difficult.
When I asked about it, the response reflected something I’ve heard in many organizations.
“Well, he’s been here a long time… that’s just how he is.”
They went on to describe how this manager’s technical skills were excellent, and how much they valued his experience and institutional knowledge. He understood the business, knew the history of the organization, and was viewed as someone with strong operational expertise. But while his technical contributions were valued, his leadership behavior was having a negative impact on the culture. The friction between departments, resistance to collaboration, and ongoing tension were shaping how people worked together and experienced the organization every day.
This is where many organizations get stuck. They treat culture like an initiative—something you define, communicate, and roll out. But culture is really the result of everyday leadership behavior. It’s shaped through what leaders model, what they tolerate, how they communicate, and how consistently they reinforce expectations.
The values said collaboration mattered, but the behavior being tolerated said something different. And over time, employees learn to trust behavior more than messaging.
This is why culture cannot be treated as something that lives primarily within HR, workshops, or organizational messaging. Those efforts can provide important structure, clarity, and support, but they are only effective when leadership behaviors consistently reinforce them. HR can be an integral part of building a strong culture by bringing experience, expertise, frameworks, and guidance to the organization. A best practice is to view HR as a strategic consultant and partner to leadership—helping equip leaders with the tools, direction, and consistency needed to support a healthy culture.
But HR cannot carry the culture of an organization on their own.
Culture ultimately comes to life through the everyday actions of leaders—through how they communicate, what they reinforce, how they handle challenges, and the standards they model for others.
Culture must be a strategic priority at the senior leadership level, and a responsibility carried by every leader in the organization. Employees experience culture through the day-to-day behaviors of leaders far more than through messaging or initiatives.
One reason culture work often becomes disconnected from leadership is because many leaders are overwhelmed and operating reactively. They’re focused on immediate demands, solving problems, putting out fires, and managing day-to-day pressures. As a result, culture starts to feel like something separate from leadership rather than something being shaped through every interaction, conversation, and decision.
Research consistently shows that direct managers have the greatest impact on the employee experience and overall culture. If you are a manager or leader, you are not just responsible for your team or department—you are influencing the culture of the organization through how you show up every day. It’s reflected in how clearly expectations are communicated, how accountability is modeled, how constructively issues are addressed, and whether leaders create an environment where people can do their best work.
People don’t follow what you say—they follow what you do. Employees are constantly observing how leaders respond in real situations. They notice how mistakes are handled, whether difficult conversations are avoided or addressed, and how consistently leaders model accountability and respect. Those moments shape culture far more than any formal messaging ever will.
Culture also becomes most visible under pressure. It’s easy to talk about values when things are going well, but moments of challenge, tension, and uncertainty reveal what actually matters inside an organization. When something goes wrong, do leaders create clarity or confusion? Do they address issues directly or avoid them? Do they uphold the values, or make exceptions when behaviors become uncomfortable to address? These everyday decisions shape the experience people have at work.
Culture is not formed through one major moment. It’s built through small, repeated behaviors over time. How leaders respond in meetings. Whether they follow through on commitments. How they handle stress. Whether they listen, acknowledge contributions, and create clarity. The small things matter because they become patterns, and patterns become culture.
Healthy cultures are not just better for people; they also lead to better organizational outcomes. Teams with strong leadership, clarity, accountability, and trust tend to be more engaged, collaborative, adaptable, and productive. Culture impacts retention, communication, innovation, and overall performance more than many organizations realize.
As leaders, we often think about culture as something organizational, but employees experience culture most directly through their manager. Culture is not built through intention alone—it’s shaped through the behaviors leaders consistently model, reinforce, and tolerate every day.
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I really love and enjoy this reading. Reading this I learned that when you speak out clearly you thoughts and ideas people see you as winner, because you are not afraid to go straight to the point.
Great article.....And happy belated birthday! Welcome to my world, young lady!
Whenever I have a work project that I keep putting off - I think about delegating that project to someone else - which accomplishes 2 things- it gets the project done and frees us my brain space thinking about it.
Good morning. I loved this read. Thank you so much for sharing. Sincerely, Melissa :)
Thank you for this blog Laurie. I liked most part and specially "As organizations have become more complex, there is a tendency to require employees to do more with less. This is a slippery slope, and often can result in employees feeling overwhelmed and burnt out. One of the biggest contributors to this is not evaluating resources during the strategic planning process." I will use this practice "A best practice is to do what I call Priority Planning—putting important practices on your calendar ahead of time so they become a priority in your day. Examples of activities to Priority Plan include scheduling recurring coaching sessions with each team member, time for strategic thinking and planning, vacations, doctor appointments, important children’s events, and blocks of time for focused work on projects." To be more effective, I will get a good rest so I can have enough energy in the morning. I will read the blog again along with the other links on employee evaluation. Thank you so much Laurie. Best wishes to you and your family.
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I love the feedback on the more than 50 hours of work. AND filling time. So true. Unfortunately, showing that you work longer hours is still seen as being a "hard worker" - not sure how to change that though.
I enjoyed the read. I concur that transitioning from technical skills to delegating results was a task within itself. I did not realize I was almost trying to do the same thing from my previous position, and it was not working. However, I am seeing the results of how delegating daily tasks makes my job and workload easier. Thank you, Laurie.
Thank you for sharing information about your trip Laurie! All 3 things resonate with me - probably #1 being the biggest. I know when I'm gone for a week, I'm still thinking about work and need a vacation when I get back because I did not relax enough. I think your idea of a longer vacation is definitely in my future!!
Hey Laurie, My take on your list - 1 - everyone has a story - listen 2- social media causes interpersonal problems 5- generational differences create hurdles / earn it you aren't entitled / we should help them get there not give it to them 6 AMEN some leaders I would have followed thru Hell, some I wish - well, you know 7- true BUT be as good as your word and 14- Hopefully we leave some good from our efforts, I know the good leaders I have had have. Seen a lot in my career but it really comes down to treat others the way you want to be treated, fair, honest, and straight forward. Good read. Take care
I love this so much and thank you so much for sharing! I really just love realizing that enjoying the simple things sometimes is the best! Also recognizing that what is important and fun to you may not be everyone else's fun on the on the trip. “Do we get to keep these toiletries?” was my favorite!!!! :):) Glad you had a great time and got to spend it with your family!
I very much resonate with lesson no 3! Thank you Laurie
I think the part that you might have missed in their top 5 things, some of which were not "Italian" or even different from home, all of them happened with you, both of you. And i think that is what they will remember too. And you've got tons of photos that will remind them of what the Sistine Chapel looked like - then they might remember what it sounded like or smelled like. Oh- and i agree with you 100% about sleep!
LOTS of great take-aways from this post! Thank you for posting! I especially love "slow down to speed up". That's a keeper!
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the not getting enough rest to be at my best. definitely need to get more quality sleep and make that a priority
It really is hard to narrow down the 3 lessons into one because they are all so interconnected. You need to give your mind and body THE TIME to relax SO THAT you can enjoy the SIMPLE THINGS, including REST. I enjoyed that lesson as a whole. I will take that lesson with me on my next vacation (or staycation). As always, thank you Laurie for your candor and for sharing your own lessons with others so that we too can benefit.
Great information and reminders
Laurie, Thank you for sharing your trip and these nuggets. The lessons that resonate most with me are it does take time to relax and getting proper rest. When you devote 15 plus hours of your day for work, taking care of home and others; the 6-7 hours you lay down does not cut it! For me during this time I'm trying to unwind and find myself thinking fighting not to think about what I have to do tomorrow. Even after I create a to do list for the next day...I find things I need to add. Taking a day off here and there doesn't cut it as well because of all the plans you have for that day. I try to make sure my Mental Health Days remains just that.... time for me to laugh, cry, scream.... whatever I need to release the cares and stress!
Really enjoyed the article... and all very true!
Since I was already well aware of #1 (I'm in the same boat with taking a long time to relax), I think I'm resonating most with #3. I'm learning to prioritize sleep / rest and it's been wonderful. Love that you said "I love sleep.". :)
Welcome back from vacation. Well deserve! Action is the key to success. Shoulder to shoulder, coaching and delegating task to help other employees grow are very important. It is a sacrifice that one must do. Forget about yourself and be with your team day in and out to help them grow, is not always easy. On the long run, your team is stronger, and you can depend on them for the success of the organization. Thank you so much!
So many great tips here, thank you!
I am so impressed you're able to disconnect and these are great tips I'll be sure to try on my next trip!
Such a great post - so inspiring!