I recently took a one-month sabbatical all over Italy with my family. It’s been a dream of mine for years to take a one-month break from my business and travel with my husband and three kids to not only enjoy beautiful Italy, but for the kids to see and experience where their Nonno and Nonna (my husband’s parents), grew up.
Traveling with kids is not easy. We enjoyed our trip, but it wasn’t without challenges. I’m not complaining—being in Italy, and enjoying authentic wine, pizza, pasta, and gelato daily is not a bad way to spend a month. Yet I’m amazed that you can be in the most beautiful place in the world, and kids will still find something to complain about.
There were many great experiences and lessons learned from this trip that apply both personally and professionally.
Here are three lessons I learned from my one-month sabbatical:
1. It takes more time than expected to truly relax.
This was the first time I took more than two weeks off at a time since I started my business 15 years ago. For the first four days, I checked my work email, and then I completely disconnected from work while I was away. No calls, no email, no slack, nothing. I am a big advocate of disconnecting from work on vacation, and I continue to see the positive benefits when I do.
When I am checking work email, I have a constant feeling of anxiety that there are things to do.
I enjoyed the trip the first two weeks, but it was at about the two-week mark when I really started to relax and be present and noticed my work anxiety was gone. Even after I stopped checking email, my mind was still in work mode. It took time to release any thoughts about work to truly enjoy vacation.
Most leaders I work with report that a one-week vacation isn’t relaxing; that they barely have time to disconnect and relax before they have to go back to work.
If you haven’t taken more than a week off at a time, I encourage you to try a longer vacation and completely disconnect. You will truly be able to enjoy the experience (and maybe even relax if you don’t have kids with you). 😊
2. True enjoyment comes from slowing down and savoring simple things (a lesson my kids taught me)
Traveling with kids is challenging and interesting. My children are 12, 10, and 8, respectfully, and it amazed me that they would still complain, fight, or be cranky while on this incredible vacation. I eventually stopped preaching and lecturing about what an amazing experience they should be having, and how much they should appreciate it.
Really, kids love simple things. This was a typical day:
Me:
- “Look at this amazing architecture!”
- “Isn’t the history of this city so fascinating!”
- “Guys, look around you! You’re in Italy!”
- “You can’t see things like this at home. Do you see how amazing it is here?”
- “Do you know this building has existed before Jesus?”
- “Look at the details of the painting of the ceiling! (of the Sistine Chapel). Can you believe Michelangelo painted this in a little over three years!?”
Kids:
- “Is there a pool here?”
- “Can we have Coke?”
- “I’m hungry!”
- “Do we get to keep these toiletries?”
- “Can we go to the stores?”
- “Can we get gummy bears?”
- “When are we eating?” (when we just had breakfast a half hour before)
We could have gone to a Hilton with a pool the next town over in Maryland and they would have been happy. I know that they had a great time, and that they will have wonderful memories. And although it’s frustrating at times that they don’t fully comprehend what they are experiencing, it’s also humbling and genuine.
Kids care about the simple things - the cool, refreshing pool after a long day of walking, the lizards running around outside of our house in Tuscany, the grown up feeling of finally being allowed to taste soda (with lectures on how bad it is for you from mom), and the sweet taste of Stracciatella gelato (almost every day). I found myself contemplating that amazing trips are certainly a great experience, but happiness comes from simple things.
In our culture of more, more, more, true joy and peace come from slowing down, spending time together, and truly enjoying that delicious gelato. I am inspired to take more time off to rest and do nothing, even if it’s at home.
3. Rest is important to be at your best (no matter where you are)
I love sleep. During normal life (i.e., not in Italy), I am pretty structured about everyone in the house getting to bed at a certain time. I personally aim for 8.5-9 hours of sleep each night, because that’s what I need to feel great and have the energy to be at my best. I see a negative impact on my energy and performance if I have even one hour less of sleep. I also know I’m crankier and more reactionary when I am tired, as are most people, including kids.
Being out of our routine where the kids were going to bed late, we were eating more carbs and sugar, and moving cities frequently had its impact. The last week of our trip, everyone was cranky, tired, and lacked energy. You can be in the most beautiful city in the world on vacation, and if you are tired, it’s hard to fully enjoy yourself.
This experience reinforced my dedication to prioritizing great sleep habits at home, and on vacation.
When I asked my kids what their top five favorite things about our trip were, one thing they all mentioned was the Lego store. 😂 The display of the Milan Cathedral in the window made out of Legos was really awesome, but besides that, it was a regular Lego store. Proof once again, that kids like the simple things. Other things that made their top experiences list: meeting the Pope, the jacuzzi in the first hotel, the pool, meeting family in Puglia, the Parmesan Reggiano cheese tour, and the boat ride.
A fantastic trip has come to an end. I have learned some things for future trips (three weeks is probably our sweet spot for traveling internationally). Overall, it was a positive experience, and I plan to take more, longer vacations. I think my next sabbatical will be at a lake for four weeks where we stay in the same place the whole time so I can hopefully relax (as much as you can relax on a vacation with young kids).
We have many memories to cherish, and some lessons learned, but there's no place like home.
Which of these three lessons resonate with you the most or which will you lean into now or in the future?
Comment below!
Whenever I have a work project that I keep putting off - I think about delegating that project to someone else - which accomplishes 2 things- it gets the project done and frees us my brain space thinking about it.
Good morning. I loved this read. Thank you so much for sharing. Sincerely, Melissa :)
Thank you for this blog Laurie. I liked most part and specially "As organizations have become more complex, there is a tendency to require employees to do more with less. This is a slippery slope, and often can result in employees feeling overwhelmed and burnt out. One of the biggest contributors to this is not evaluating resources during the strategic planning process." I will use this practice "A best practice is to do what I call Priority Planning—putting important practices on your calendar ahead of time so they become a priority in your day. Examples of activities to Priority Plan include scheduling recurring coaching sessions with each team member, time for strategic thinking and planning, vacations, doctor appointments, important children’s events, and blocks of time for focused work on projects." To be more effective, I will get a good rest so I can have enough energy in the morning. I will read the blog again along with the other links on employee evaluation. Thank you so much Laurie. Best wishes to you and your family.
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I love the feedback on the more than 50 hours of work. AND filling time. So true. Unfortunately, showing that you work longer hours is still seen as being a "hard worker" - not sure how to change that though.
I enjoyed the read. I concur that transitioning from technical skills to delegating results was a task within itself. I did not realize I was almost trying to do the same thing from my previous position, and it was not working. However, I am seeing the results of how delegating daily tasks makes my job and workload easier. Thank you, Laurie.
Thank you for sharing information about your trip Laurie! All 3 things resonate with me - probably #1 being the biggest. I know when I'm gone for a week, I'm still thinking about work and need a vacation when I get back because I did not relax enough. I think your idea of a longer vacation is definitely in my future!!
Hey Laurie, My take on your list - 1 - everyone has a story - listen 2- social media causes interpersonal problems 5- generational differences create hurdles / earn it you aren't entitled / we should help them get there not give it to them 6 AMEN some leaders I would have followed thru Hell, some I wish - well, you know 7- true BUT be as good as your word and 14- Hopefully we leave some good from our efforts, I know the good leaders I have had have. Seen a lot in my career but it really comes down to treat others the way you want to be treated, fair, honest, and straight forward. Good read. Take care
I love this so much and thank you so much for sharing! I really just love realizing that enjoying the simple things sometimes is the best! Also recognizing that what is important and fun to you may not be everyone else's fun on the on the trip. “Do we get to keep these toiletries?” was my favorite!!!! :):) Glad you had a great time and got to spend it with your family!
I very much resonate with lesson no 3! Thank you Laurie
I think the part that you might have missed in their top 5 things, some of which were not "Italian" or even different from home, all of them happened with you, both of you. And i think that is what they will remember too. And you've got tons of photos that will remind them of what the Sistine Chapel looked like - then they might remember what it sounded like or smelled like. Oh- and i agree with you 100% about sleep!
LOTS of great take-aways from this post! Thank you for posting! I especially love "slow down to speed up". That's a keeper!
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the not getting enough rest to be at my best. definitely need to get more quality sleep and make that a priority
It really is hard to narrow down the 3 lessons into one because they are all so interconnected. You need to give your mind and body THE TIME to relax SO THAT you can enjoy the SIMPLE THINGS, including REST. I enjoyed that lesson as a whole. I will take that lesson with me on my next vacation (or staycation). As always, thank you Laurie for your candor and for sharing your own lessons with others so that we too can benefit.
Great information and reminders
Laurie, Thank you for sharing your trip and these nuggets. The lessons that resonate most with me are it does take time to relax and getting proper rest. When you devote 15 plus hours of your day for work, taking care of home and others; the 6-7 hours you lay down does not cut it! For me during this time I'm trying to unwind and find myself thinking fighting not to think about what I have to do tomorrow. Even after I create a to do list for the next day...I find things I need to add. Taking a day off here and there doesn't cut it as well because of all the plans you have for that day. I try to make sure my Mental Health Days remains just that.... time for me to laugh, cry, scream.... whatever I need to release the cares and stress!
Really enjoyed the article... and all very true!
Since I was already well aware of #1 (I'm in the same boat with taking a long time to relax), I think I'm resonating most with #3. I'm learning to prioritize sleep / rest and it's been wonderful. Love that you said "I love sleep.". :)
Welcome back from vacation. Well deserve! Action is the key to success. Shoulder to shoulder, coaching and delegating task to help other employees grow are very important. It is a sacrifice that one must do. Forget about yourself and be with your team day in and out to help them grow, is not always easy. On the long run, your team is stronger, and you can depend on them for the success of the organization. Thank you so much!
So many great tips here, thank you!
I am so impressed you're able to disconnect and these are great tips I'll be sure to try on my next trip!
Such a great post - so inspiring!